For as tired as I was last night, I only slept for a few sporadic hours. I was back up at 1:30am to wait for word on The Brit's arrival to England. Why is it that when tragedy strikes, your paranoia level shoots through the roof? Concerns about his safety, both on the plane and on the car journey to his father's house and I also couldn't bring myself to turn off the hall light last night when I went to bed. It's almost like when death touches us, we are somehow afraid it is still right around the corner.
I sat up until I spoke to The Brit right around 3:00AM. He was in the car with Lee, on his way to his dad's place. I then tossed and turned until 6:00 before beginning the day. Hopefully tonight, there will be sleep.
I spoke to The Brit and family this afternoon and so far everyone seems to be holding up fairly well. Of course, this is the mechanical part of things; the arrangements and what has to be done. I found out a few more details about how things happened and there was really no warning that things were going to go downhill as quickly as they did. When I spoke to Allen I told him how I felt Saturday, her really good day before she died, was such a blessing for him. She had been so bad on Friday that he feared her not living through the night, so for her to be so much of her old self on Saturday was a gift that I'm so thankful he had.
It's always ironic how things work out when we look at them after the fact. British Mother's Day is not the same as ours; theirs is in March, but for my own ease and to keep me from being confused, I always celebrated both Mum and my mother for our Mother's Day. This year, for the first time ever, I talked to The Brit about sending his mum some flowers for the British Mother's Day and we did. I can't begin to tell you how it makes me feel now knowing she would not have been around for the American one this year.
I also spoke with Gina, my sister in law for awhile today. I love this woman like my own sister and I miss her so much. From over a year ago when we were finally able to really spend some time together when she and Gareth came here for a visit, she became a kindred spirit for me. I so hope we get a chance to visit again one day soon. I miss her.
It's looking like The Brit will not be home until after the 15th. Due to the holiday weekend, funeral plans are being pushed to next week as of right now. There's nothing they can do about it and I know he needs to stay there until it is finished.
Though today has been a bit better than yesterday, the shock is still with me over losing Daphne.
I simply cannot imagine this world without her.
My heart goes out to you Kim - this is a tough situation. I am glad that you were able to show them some of the gifts that God gave them - through the one good day. I also am thankful that you were able to celebrate British Mother's Day - God certainly had his hand in that!
ReplyDeleteI can't even put into words how I'm feeling! I hope that Chris's faith gets him through. I know that the hardest part is to come. When things calm down and he has time to think about everything, but by then he will be home in the arms of his loving American family. If there is anything you need please call. Our prayers are always with you, Chris and the boys.
ReplyDeleteOh, sis... my prayers are with you, Chris and the boys... These are the hardest moments in a person's life and I guess only God's love can comfort us. And the time... only time will be able to heal the pain that the loss of a loved one can bring. The day before her death, which you described above, really seemed a blessing, as if God himself had sent his angels to stay close to her. You're all in my prayers, Kim.
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