Death be not Proud

So yesterday when I said I thought I was turning a corner?  Yeah, well, the cold took a wrong turn and went down...right into my chest, so now instead of just battling snot, I have coughing as well...dry, hacking, ribs aching coughing.  Sucks.  I also ran out of Breathe Right strips last night which meant no sleep.  As I am still on the CPAP (and so counting the days till I can kick that thing goodbye), if I can't breathe, I can't sleep.  I'm really, really ready to feel better and you all are probably really, really ready to hear me quit whining about feeling lousy.  I thought about calling my PCP but I'm not running a fever which means it isn't an infection, right?  And if it isn't an infection, then they won't give me antibiotics, right?  

Someone said something kind of odd to me the other day.  We were discussing my surgery and The Brit's surgery and this person said, "You know, it's going to be really weird for us too, because we know you as you are now and you're going to completely shrink."

This kind of bothered me and has been bothering me since it was said.  If you "know" someone, I don't think that has much to do with what they look like outside.  So though my outside will change, I will still be me albeit a little more confident and comfortable in my own skin.  But why should that be "Weird" for anyone else?  That's kind of like saying if a friend of mine gets a new haircut or a new hair color then that will be weird for me.  I don't get the "weird" part at all and it is somehow something I've feared a little bit as I never want people to start treating me differently (unless you've always been really mean to me and then you can be nice ).  I am still who I've always been, only 44 pounds lighter so far.

And speaking of 44 pounds lighter, and while I'm complaining anyway, can I just say that I have still not dropped a pants size??  Oh, my stuff is looser, no doubt, but still no size change, which I find rather annoying as I just bought a few pairs of shorts a size down that were way on sale (like $5 on sale) and though I can get in them, they are in no way attractive yet.  I wanted them for the mission trip, but it isn't looking good....